DDD's Donuts
by popsiclecream795
Summary: What happens when Dedede opens a donut shop at Smash Mansion? Will he beat Kirby's Cafe? Find out! This was made for fun, so it might not make sense at some parts. Rated T just in case. (Friendverse AU)
1. New Shop

**Author(s) note:**

 **This is my first fanfic that I uploaded online, and the closest to actually being a normal story. The quality is a bit lazy at the start, but don't worry, It will very much improve later.**

 **We don't own anything here.**

Chapter 1: A new shop

So Dedede owns a donut shop in Smash Mansion now. He appears to be advertising. It says "Come to DDDD and suck on Dededeez 'nuts!" His donut shop was created when he wanted to beat Kirby's Kirby Cafe.

At first, his only customer was a waddle dee. Let's just say well...the cooking wasn't...great. (Kawasaki was the chef after all) Yet, he still tries to sell them. The waddle dee knew the feeling of being sold along with their groupmates, after all.

The next day, he had only one customer again, who was his rival, Kirby. He didn't even buy anything. He just came in to tease him and his low sales. Suddenly, Kirby had more customers who bought dozens of doughnuts due to the 40% discount sale they had.

One day, he had an actual customer who was Meta Knight. "I'll buy a box of 6". Dedede was shocked that someone would genuinely buy in his store. But his order made him question a bit, because it was "6 strawberry sprinkle donuts." Meta Knight left and tasted the doughnuts. It was so good that he threw the doughnuts away and bought some instead at Kirby's Cafe. Dedede then started thinking that the problem was his donut flavors. So instead of 3 flavors, he made 6 more. Which were, honeydew, avocado, durian, toothpaste, waddle dee (it's artificial so it's fine) and metal.

After putting up his menu, Ness entered his store. He seemed interested with the flavors that the cafe offered, seeing that he often ate from the trash anyway. The most delicious looking donut for him though was the metal flavor. He bought it. He ate it.

Turns out he got choked by the doughnut he ate. Luckily, Dedede threw a waddle dee at him which made him swallow it. Metaknight stood in the middle of it all, he felt like laughing.

"When did you enter, Meta Knight? I saw you leave just a moment ago..." said Dedede.

"I teleported accidentally by myself. I was supposed to go to Kirby's Cafe." Metaknight said as he snickered. Suddenly, they realized Ness was gonna buy another donut. As Ness was ordering , Luigi came in. "3 customers in a day. Amazing." Said Dedede. Luigi strolled into the counter and said, "One wasabi donut, please."

"We don't serve wasabi donuts here."

"Wait. Isn't this Kirby's Kirby Cafe?"

"No it isn't... but uh, we do serve them now!"

(Can you serve this guy a wasabi donut?!)

"Uh, no, but I'll try? I'll just make my own recipe then..." Said Kawasaki.

He then started mixing avocadoes, toothpaste and artificial waddle dees flavoring into his donut.

"You said a moment ago that you didn't serve any." Luigi whispered to Dedede.

"BUT WE DO NOW!!!"

He then served his gloopy wasabi-looking donut to Luigi. Luigi first smelled it and accepted it as his new favorite flavor. He then took a bite on the jelly-like donut and screamed with delight.

He then proceeded to pay for his donut, and ran around smash mansion yelling "YOU GUYS SHOULD TRY THIS DONUT!!" This then, attracted more customers, each ordering the exact same donut, and the occasional coffee.

The next day, Link entered the shop.

"What would you like?" Said Dedede

"AHH!" "HEAAYYYAAHHH!!"

"He said he wanted a chocolate donut" Said Zelda, who came in running after Link.

"He left his subtitles in his universe accidentally, and we were on our way to retrieve them."

"One chocolate donut!"

"Uh, I'll go back and fetch your subtitles while you wait for your donut" And Zelda walked out of the store and headed to Smash Mansion's portal room.

Just then, Ness came back for his 2nd visit, and brought along Lucas. He ordered another metal-flavored donut, and Lucas ordered a glazed donut. They sat at a nearby table waiting.

"Hey Ness, have you seen my sunflower anywhere? You know, the one I keep by the window?" Asked Lucas.

"I don't think so, but I did see a sunflower in Olimar's garden. Last I saw, his pikmin were trying to harvest it."

"Harvest what? And is it my sunflower?"

"Harvesting what they must have thought was a pellet. But I don't think it's your sunflower."

Link was still waiting for his order.

"Here's your donuts!"

Dedede said to the three of them.

When Lucas got his glazed donut, he got a little suspicious. It had little sunflower sprinkles that looked like seeds around it. He guessed what else might have happened to his flower. He askes Dedede if he saw it. And he replies:

"Oh that flower? Alph picked it for me. I wouldn't know why, but he did."

Suddenly, Lucas realized what he was eating.

He then looked at the donut Link was eating. A chocolate sprinkled donut. He then grabbed Link's donut.

"NAOOOOO!!"

"YAAAAAAH!" Said Link as he furiously chewed on his donut.

"I'm so sorry! What can I make it up for you?" Said Dedede.

Ness had apparently left the bill and ran out from the shop.

Lucas thought for a while, probably for even five minutes. He finally said:

"I want you to grind up Link's subtitles and put it as sprinkles on my glazed donut."

Zelda finally reappeared as soon as he said that, with Link's subtitles.

"Hey, Princess Number Two!" Said Dedede.

"What now? And I told you not to call me by that name."

It was obvious the penguin had a crush on Zelda, but nobody knew.

"Would it be okay to have some of Link's subtitles to use on Lucas's donut?"

"What? Why?"

"It's a long story so is it a yes or no? I will pay you back, double."

"You can have them all, fine."

 **Author(s)' Note:**

 **Yeah, the bad quality in the beginning. We wrote this from inspiration from a waterbottle, after all.**


	2. Subtitle Mix-Up

Chapter 2: Subtitle Mix-Up

One morning, Dedede received an email.

"We're sorry Mr. Dedede, but you are not allowed to open a business in your own residence. If you do not comply, you will be penalized."

Dedede, at first, got terrified. Then, he realized something.

"Wait a minute. There ain't no government here. This is nonsesnse! Plus, I'M a king! I choose what I want to do!" Dedede shouted as he grabbed the keys to the DDDD.

When he got to his restaurant, he saw his rival at the front door.

"Poyo. (Hello. Did you get my email?)"

"H-huh? What? What about the ema- wait no, first of all, how'd you get in?"

"Poyo? Poy! (Did you forget I can fly? And that you left a hole in the ceiling you never fixed?)"

Dedede did apparently leave a hole in the ceiling because he was in a rush to open his cafe.

He was quite furious, but he was more confused that actually being angry.

After a few hours of running his store, while Kirby was watching from the other side. He got an idea.

He then made a cardboard version of himself which he put in front of the counter. While Kirby spied on his cardboard version of himself, which he thought was real, Dedede sneaked out of his restaurant, went through the backdoor of Kirby's cafe into the kitchen and stole his subtitles.

After putting up a new menu with the addition of two new items (Subtitled Link Donut and Subtitled Kirby Donut), Kirby ran into his restaurant.

"Po-poyo?"

"You want your subtitles back?"

"Popopoyo!"

"Well, too bad!" Dedede said while laughing, "I'm afraid someone else will enjoy them."

Link then bursted into the room.

"HEEEYAAAAH!"

"Okay. One Kirby subtitled donut coming up, If I'm guessing correctly."

"Po-poyo!?"

"HIIIYAAAAH"

"Heh. What's with Nintendo and speechles characters? Anyway!"

Dedede continued to grind Kirby's subtitles and sprinkled them on top a glazed donut. He then created another donut with Link's subtitles on it.

He put the two subtitled donuts on the counter and mixed them so quickly none of them knew which one was which anymore.

"Choose."

Kirby then picked the donut on the left while Link picked the remaining one. As they ate it, they started feeling queasy. Afterwards, they felt better.

"Po-poyo." (Is this my subtitles?)

"HIIIYAAAH!" (Are these my subtitles?)

They suddenly ran out of the restaurant to figure out if it was theirs.

As Marth came by, both Kirby and Link surrounded him.

"Po popoy po po? (Hey, can you read this properly?)"

"HaT! (Marth, are these correct?)"

Marth replied: "Oh, greetings you two, and well, yes, I can read your subtitles. But, did you two switch textboxes?"

The two of them ran back into the donut shop, the only information they collected being that they only switched fonts, but not actual textboxes. Aside from that, they thought they would still talk properly. Kirby went back to convince Dedede to fix their subtitles, and Link began talking to Zelda.

Link's textbox read: "Hey, uh. I know this situation is awkward and all but, can you fix us? Oh by the way, once we're through this you're toast."

"Wait, what?", Zelda exclaimed

Kirby's textbox on the other hand, read: "So, I know my textbox looks different but I hope this situation doesn't make what I was supposed to say weird. I love you."

"EXCUSE ME?"

Kirby stood there confused.

Zelda was angry with "hey, can you fix us"

Link was looking around, then his eyes darted at Dedede and Kirby.

Link grunted "Humph. Hyah!"

Kirby's textbox read: "Wait, what's going on?" despite not even speaking

Marth followed the both of them through the door as the two looked quite worried.

"...You two look perplexed. It's the textboxes isn't it?"

"Poyo!"

Link: (Yes!)

Marth looked at the two, "Oh I see the problem here."

"Hmm...don't you think magic will fix this?", Zelda said as she looked at Marth.

"No, I don't actually know any ways to fix that..." Then he simply walked to the counter to buy a donut.

" I guess you two will just have to stick together, then."

Th two then walked out of the restaurant, holding hands just to make sure one of them doesn't get lost.

"Po-poyo!"

Link: (I guess I'll be having dubious food tonight.)

"hyah, hut hah?"

Kirby: (Huh, what?)

They both decided to not say a word since neither of them can tell what they're saying.

Soon, they come across Ness eating out of the trash again.

"Poyo." "Hut!"

Link: (That looks good!)

Kirby:(Oh, yuck)

They ate dinner with him anyway.


	3. Revenge on Alph

**Author(s)' Note:**

 **We decided we're going to have one storyline at a time because we think this is getting a bit confusing in the future.**

Chapter 3: Revenge on Alph

The next day, Captain Falcon walked into the shop.

Well, he didn't really walk in. He more of, blasted through the wall with a single punch.

"FAAAAAAALCOOOON PUUUUNCH!"

"Hey! You know I need to fix that now."

"SHOW ME YA FOODS!"

"Check the menu, then."

"I JUST WANT YOUR BEST WORK!"

"Sure. One donut with everything on it."

"... and I'll have that to go please."

Kawasaki, for some reason said he couldn't do that, because there wasn't enough space on one donut for all the flavors. Dedede just yelled at him, "THEN MAKE A BIGGER DONUT!"

After a while, he pulled out a donut the size of Dedede's ego. By that, it was just huge. It had all the flavors on it.

"Here you go!"

"YAS!"

On his way out, Captain Falcon destroyed his donut because it didn't really fit through the hole in the wall. He was fine with it anyway. The only thing that wasn't fine was the wall. It was pretty much splattered with donut remains.

"Ugh, waddle dee! Clean this up!", Dedede screamed loud enough to break the windows.

"Can this day get any worse?"

Kirby and Link then entered the store.

"For the love of--y'know, you already messed up this shop yesterday. Why would you want to return? Get out."

"Poyo!"

Link: (But...)

"Haaah!"

Kirby: (Wait!)

"Just get out!"

As they left the store, Link smashed a vase that surprisingly, didn't contain anything.

Kirby slammed the door which broke the doorknob. Dedede got doughnuts and threw them at Kirby and Link.

"Don't come back!" Screamed Dedede

On their way back to their rooms, they started a plan.

"Hyah!"

Kirby: (This is all because of some sunflower...)

"Poy?"

Link: (What?)

Link explains the whole story with the sunflower and missing subtitles to Kirby.

"Poyo!"

Link: (Wait, you said Alph picked it? That means this is his fault!)

"Hyah!"

Kirby: (Well, now you know what happened. Any ideas?)

"Po-poyo!"

Link: (Well, Dedede won't help at all so...)

The two were running out of ideas quick.

Pit just came back from WarioMart, as he was assigned to buy groceries for everyone that day. He saw them thinking of ideas. So he came to help them.

"What is your problem?" said Pit.

"Poyo"

Link: (Look.)

"Popo-poyo"

Link: (Our subtitles are mixed up)

"How'd this happen? Did Ganondorf curse you or something? Did you burst into his room again?", Pit asked.

"Huahhh!"

Kirby: (No, and I know this might sound a little weird but, we uh, ate the wrong kind of donut?)

Pit looked confused. "What?" They then started talking so much that Pit's screen filled up with textboxes. "WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT, I CAN'T GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING"

They were all silent for a moment.

"Okay, okay. So I can tell you're having a rough time. But I don't think I'm the right person for this. You can try talking to Dedede." Pit leaves the two of them behind as he heads back to the mansion's kitchen.

Link and Kirby decide to get their revenge on Alph. As they ran to Alph's place, they filled up everybody's screen whoever passed by with textboxes.

Alph and Olimar were in the garden, taking care of the pikmin. Kirby and Link ran towards Alph, grabbing two of his pikmin in the process.

"Poyo!"

Link: (IF YOU DON'T GET US UNBANNED FROM DEDEDE'S PLACE, THESE TWO PIKMIN DIE!)

Both of the two astronauts stood there, confused. Everyone was silent.

"I have no idea what's going on here, but please put them down. We have nothing to do with...whatever this is." Olimar said, breaking the awkward silence.

"HAAAH!"

Kirby: (You're the reason we're broken!)

"Well, fine. Uh..."

"Po-poyo!"

Link: (Just claim responsibility and we'll be on our way.)

"Fine. We did what you said."

After that, Link and Kirby were happy, and they put down the pikmin.

Meanwhile, back at the shop...

"Finally, my new speaker system is done!"

Dedede proudly said as he started playing Wii Shop Channel music.

Unbeknownst to him, a waddle dee got to his CD player and put in a CD which was sent to them by a mysterious person, titled "Lonk's first word".

Soon as the audio started playing, Kirby, Link, Alph and Olimar walked in.

"HIYAH!"

Kirby: (What the?)

The odd "song" (if you can even call it that) disturbed everyone in the room, except for that one waddle dee.

"Poyo-po?"

(Where did you get that?), Link's textbox wrote.

"No, no. The real question is WHY would you get this, ehrm, song?" , Alph said while trying to not make eye contact with anyone

"Uhmm..." Said Ganon in the background.

"Why are we even here to begin with again?

"Nobody ever loves me!" Luigi suddenly said in the background as he ran out the door.

"Okay, so I'm here because I was told I did something wrong, amd now i'm witnessing very 'unique' things. Can I just go out now?"

"Just get out of here, and, fine. You two unspeakables can stay." Said Dedede.

"HAAAH!"

Kirby: (Yes!)

"Poyo!"

Link: (Yes!)

Suddenly, Captain Falcon blasted into the room with the intent to buy a donut.

"YAS!"

 **Author(s)' Note:**

 **One of us wanted to call Link "Lonk" because of a typo which he thought was funny.**


	4. Viral Videos

**Author(s)' Note: This is a wierd chapter. Trust us when we say that.**

Chapter 4: Viral Videos

One early morning, Dedede was cleaning the tables with his two new employees, Kirby and Link. Link wanted a job and Kirby wanted his old textbox back as he cannot run his restaurant without it.

The day started weird because of their first customer.

"Hello! 2 coffees, please" Said the ice climbers in unison.

"Okay, what flavor would you like?"

The menu said: Regular, Caramel, Spicy Caramel...

"Spicy Caramel?"

"Yes."

...Ice and Wario Coffee.

"Wario Coffee?"

"What do you mean by "Wario Coffee?"

Wario coffee was a special one-day only limited edition flavor they had, and Dedede was testing to see if anyone would actually buy it.

"Where do these flavors come from?" Nana asked

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah..."

"I don't know. I just have them imported from the random universes of Smash Mansion. Just so you know, all of them is very much artificial."

"Psst, Popo, do you really want to buy here?" Nana whispered

"Kirby's store is closed so, yeah."

Kirby glared at them. He then replied, "I'm open, it's just that... I... ran out of power at my cafe" he thought as he gave an angry face

Unfortunately, the two siblings (or lovers) did not notice him.

"We would just want to order two cups of Ice Coffee."

What they didn't know was that it was flavored ice, not iced coffee. So when they got their coffees, they were literally frozen.

"Um, thanks..." they confusedly said as they paid.

"What's wrong?"

"It's... err... better than expected." Said Nana.

"It's..um.. good, not good, It's so good!" Said Popo.

They confusedly left the restaurant.

"HYAH!"

Kirby: (Haha. Dedede and his "coffee flavors".)

"Poyoyo"

Link:(I wouldn't laugh if I was you.)

Luigi was just walking outside when he saw their advertisement.

"Why is the advertisement saying Buy Our Food and pointing to Kirby's Cafe? And why is there a cardboard version of you dancing to it?"

Dedede came in when he heard this. "WHAT IN TARNATION!?" He looked outside the window, baffled by the sight.

Would you look at that, a poorly painted Dedede, dancing to a cheer of "Buy Our Food." He quickly tore it down and told Luigi to not tell anyone he saw that. But Luigi was one step ahead of him.

"Too late, I already got that on video. I'm posting it online, I hope people will like it..."

Dedede froze when he said that, and couldn't say anything about it.

"Popoyo!"

Link:(Well, that's great...for me!)

Pit looked at his phone and found the video. He laughed so hard and pressed "Share To All Contacts" button accidentally. Well, he happened to have everyone's phone number.

"Oops...", Pit said as he stared at Dedede

Not even a second, Dedede started charging at Pit with his hammer.

"I usually want to clobber Kirby, but you take the cake!"

Just a second ago, Link-In had too much users pressing the like button and went to 57 out of 58 likes in Smashville, everyone exept Dedede, Master Hand and Crazy Hand. Mostly because the two hands didn't have Link-In.

"Well then..."

"Nice video, Dedede!" Meta Knight yelled as he flew by.

"The sign reperesnts you spot on!" Captain Falcon shouts from a far.

My, how embarrasing.

Even Luigi was laughing in the background.

Later that day...

The video had become so viral, it was on every social media there was.

Even a waddle dee got to Dedede's phone and liked the video.

"Ugh, I should've just gotten kidnapped by Taranza. I wouldn't have to go through this."

Meanwhile at Dr. Mario's...

"Am I going to be ok?" Said Pit.

"Well, you-a have some broken bones but we can fix it."

"Can you do it now?"

Dr. Mario then looked up from his phone and said, "Lemme watch this video-a a one more time."

"What a mess this is.", Pit said

"With all due respect, Pit, you're the one-a who shared this to all of us"

"But Luigi posted it... he should have been the one who got clobbered."

"Stop-a using the WiFi!" yelled Dr. Mario at his other patients in the waiting room.

"But were trying to watch a video!" they said in unison.

"So, are you gonna heal me?", Pit asked

Dr. Mario closed the door.

"Please-ah be patient, Pit."

"After all, you are the reason you got clobbered."

"Hmph."

"Can you guys hurry up?" a patient said

"Why?"

"My voice hurts from laughing."

"What are you-a doing Pit?"

Pit looks up from his phone.

"Heh heh. Honestly, this is pretty funny."

Back at the donut shop...

Dedede found out that one waddle dee liked the video using his account. Only thing is, you can't un-like a video there. It also left a comment saying "look at dat soft beak" It's comment also got 58/58 likes, because it liked it's own comment.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Kirby and Link were watching the video in the break room.

"Poyo"

Link: (Wow, this is getting viral fast)

"HYAAH!"

Kirby: (Can we watch something else?)

"Poyo."

Link: (How about this?)

The video was titled "Lonk singing for the first time"

"Poyo?"

Link: (Why would you post this though?)

"HYYYAAAH!"

Kirby: (It said it was posted by Zelday74.)

"Popoyo"

Link:(Why would you let Zelda post that?)

Link then grabbed the phone and ran into the main room.

"Poyo..."

Link: (That was my phone... but I could see why he wanted it removed.)

"Popoyo"

Link:(Well, what a bummer. What now?)

Dedede was walking towards his room. Everyone he passed by either laughed at him, gave him a compliment, or both.

"Look at that soft beak!" yelled Fox.

"Looks like you're finally the star of the show!" Falco shouted while nudging Fox by the shoulder.

Luigi then ran into the center of the hallway, in front of Dedede.

"You guys should be ashamed. He's serving you delicious food!"

Luigi looks at his phone and sends a picture and text message to Mario.

Mario's phone was vibrating. When he turned the phone on. He was shocked because he saw a picture showing Luigi with Mario's friend, Peach.

"What? Who sent this?"

He looked at the contact who sent it.

"If you don't get me out of your shadow, I'll kidnap Peach myself."

"He'll forever be in my shadow, no matter what." Said Mario.

Mario turns off his phone.

"Boo!" everyone yells at Luigi. Dedede already left him.

Luigi cries and runs out of the mansion, and hides in the corner of the garden.

"Why are you crying?" Olimar asked.

"These are really good flowers." Luigi stutterly said.

While Luigi is eating the pellet posies, (Are they even edible?) he is slowly getting poisoned because he ate a carrot. Except, it wasn't a carrot. It was actually one of the white pikmin, but he was crying so much he didn't notice.

He didn't care and he didn't know though. He was too depressed to care anyway. Little did he know, he actually had just eaten one of the members of Alph's new band, The Alphabets.

Since they had no other place to host an audition, they really only had Dedede's Donuts. With Dedede's permission, they decided to host it there.

In the day of the audition, a new band joined called The Pitofile. It consists of Pit and Dark Pit. They messed up the audition making the judges triggered.

The next band consisted of Link and Kirby. Zelda wasn't in with them because she was with Dedede. Their band was called "Two Guys, One Textbox". Obviously, they were rejected because Kirby was triggered at Link for assuming his gender, even if he already was a guy.

And lastly, it was Dedede and Zelda. Their name was Zeldee, which Zelda suggested but Dedede found weird. However, instead of singing, they just played DDD's Donuts' new theme song.

"Dedededededededededede... DONUTS!"

And that was actually 20 seconds long.

The audience was baffled. But, the judges loved it since the event was partly owned by Dedede, and if they rejected it, everyone would be kicked out.

"I feel like laughing, and crying at the same time"

Link looked at the two of them jealously as they talked and laugh.

Kirby though with a blank face: (Out of all the weird thing that has happened through out the week, this has to be one of the most questionable.)

Later that nighttime, Dedede asked Zelda out. But she said no, and maybe next time. But, then she decides to tell her friends about him asking her out.

"Haha, nice one, Princess!" Rosalina said as she laughed

"I haven't heard a good joke for a while"

To show her friends that Dedede did ask her out, they went out for breakfast tomorrow morning. Dedede decided to go to his own cafe.

"Popoyo-po!"

(I got my subtitles back!)

"Wait, what?" Said Dedede.

"Poyo!"

(So, goodbye!)

"HYAH!"

(Bye!)

"It was probably because of the loud donuts noise yesterday."

Since they had zero waiters, their only choice was to eat at Kirby's reopened cafe.

"Poyopoyo?"

(Now, what brings you here?)

" Nothing..."

"Poyo?"

(On a date, are you?)

"Noo..."

"Yes, we are." Said Zelda.

"Popoyo"

(Oh how cu- wait, no this is wrong)

"Poyo"

(I'm just gonna leave. Let waddle doo take your order.)

While the two were eating and quietly talking, Kirby and Link were looking at waddle doo's phone's search history. Link was more interested in Dedede and Zelda though.

"Poyo-po?"

(Link X Kirby?)

"HAAH!

(That's it. Bye.)

Link then quietly watched Zelda as they talked and snickered. Kirby suddenly dropped a pan on thr floor.

"What was that?" Asked Zelda.

She then saw Link watching them.

"HYAH!

(Uh, hi.)

Link didn't seem to realize that he was bothering them.

As Kirby picked back up the pan, he was looking at Link, he found the situation more hilarious than it's supposed to be.

"Ha!"

(ha!)

"Poyo poyo po"

(How awkward this is. Don't you think you're bothering them link?)

"Huut!"

(Nope.)

"Poyo!"

(Well have a look at this.)

He shows Link waddle doo's phone.

Link didn't say anything. Suddenly, a Mr. Saturn walked by outside. Link grabbed him and threw it at waddle doo.

"Hey, what are you doing outside the storage room?"

Waddle doo walks off towards said room.

"Hyut"

(We can't let him know we took his phone)

They threw his phone into the garden lake.

Meanwhile, Dedede and Zelda left without paying. Dedede was a king, after all, and Zelda was a princess...

"Hyah"

(Wait, did they even pay?)

"Poyo"

(No they didn't, but that was free, just because I can ship it.)

The shipping that was happening outside was even worse.

"Nice!" yelled Pit.

"YAS!" Said Captain Falcon

"WE SHIP IT!" Said everyone else watching.

"Look at that soft beak with that magic!" Said Fox.


	5. Zeldee's Fanclub

**Author(s)' Note:**

 **This is more of a dialogue-based chapter. And it contains wierd ships that thankfully end by the end of this chapter.**

Chapter 5: Zeldee's Fanclub

The next day...

Dedede was out watching the donut shop. Because basically everyone had shipped him yesterday, a certain group of little smashers were snooping inside his room for more details.

"I'm supposed to feel embarrassed, but I'm not. And, I don't think this is a good idea... What if he comes back?" Asked Lucas.

"He's out running the shop. There's no chance he's going to come back here at this time." Said Toon Link.

"Guys, I found something!" Said Ness.

It was a picture of the two of them. Villager stuffed it into his dimension-sized pockets.

"I found something, again!"

It was a picture of the picture of the two of them.

"2 pictures of just them? I wonder how many we can find..."

Suddenly, Dedede walked in on them, because he forgot to hide said pictures. All the kids froze in place for a second.

"RUN!"

Ness, Lucas, Toon Link and Villager all jumped out the window. Except, they had forgotten that they were on the 3rd floor.

Luckily, Meta Knight saved them just in time. However, he couldn't carry all 4 of them, and they fell to the ground.

"At least, they didn't see the 30 other pictures." Said Dedede.

Meanwhile, on the ground...

Samus was passing by when she saw the 5 of them falling from the 3rd floor.

"Is this the Zeldee fanclub? And are you ok?"

"Okey.."

"Well..."

"I have something to show you guys."

She then pulled out a blurry picture of Zelda touching Dedede's beak.

"Look at that soft beak!" Said Fox as he ran by.

Dr. Mario came running out of the mansion.

"I heard a fall, did someone fall off the 3rd floor again?"

"Yep. But look at this."

"I knew it! They do like each other!"

"What's up, guys?" Asked Rosalina.

"Look at this!"

"I knew it! They do like each other!"

"Where'd you find it?" Asked Toon Link.

"It was in the alley behind the cafe."

"What were you doing there?" Said Lucas.

"Nothing."

Bayonetta walked over from chasing Pit and asked "How did he respond to that?"

"Yeah, how?" Said Pit as he walked over, tired.

"I think he simply responded with 'Ok.' or, that's what it looked like." Answered Samus.

"Wow. Well, if you want to know how to talk to a lady, ask your mom."

Lucas simply stared at her.

"What's up, guys?" Said Zelda as she walked over, with Dedede.

"WE TOTALLY WEREN'T LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF YOU GUYS!"

Well, at least Lucas is honest.

"C'mon. Can't you guys ship the two ice climbers instead?"

"Well nobody knows their relationship with each other. So that doesn't count."

"I ship them." Said Dedede.

Unfortunately, nobody cared. Then he left.

"Now, about that fanclub idea?"

"Let's just keep following them."

"You guys know I'm still here, right?" Said Zelda.

Unfortunately, nobody cared. So she left.

"Hey, guys. What's up." Asked Luigi.

"Wanna join our fanclub?"

"Uh, well I ship it too... YES!"

"Ok, ... What's your name again?"

"Nevermind." He then ran away, crying, again.

"I bet he's going to the garden again." Said Olimar.

"So, wanna join our club?"

"Sure."

"Okay. We love you Alph. By the way, what happened to your eyes?"

"I'm not Alph..."

"You called?"

"Hi Olimar." Said everyone.

"You guys got our names wrong... What's next? Swapping the things we eat? I only like fruit and he only likes vegetables..."

"I'm hungry for some DDD donuts. Who wanna come?" Asked Meta Knight.

"ME!" Everyone replied.

And the group started walking to DDD's Donuts. When they got there, they placed their order, which would take a while to wait for, because they ordered all at once.

"I wonder where Dedede is."

Everyone quietly laughed.

Little did they know, Dedede was out with Zelda, and was currently out of the shop.

"Good thing their entire fanclub is in my restaurant. Now, they can't bother us."

They then went on a, what you may call, a second date, except it lasted the entire day. They spectated, they ate, they watched a movie about Wario's life and many others.

Meanwhile, in Wii Fit Trainer's room...

"I find it strange that I ship this, yet I don't get how this kind of relationship would work out... To anyone who is currently watching me or something, pun not intended."

"Look at that soft beak!" yelled Fox as he ran by.

"Hey what? A fanclub? For this? You know what... I'm joining."

"Me too." Said Zelda.

"If you're the topic of the fanclub, shouldn't you be a part of it by default?"

"Yep."

At the Zeldee fanclub's soon to be meeting place...

"Uh, welcome to our club guys!"

"Is this our meeting place? The kitchen of all things?"

Suddenly, the announcer interrupted everyone.

"Is a person named Loo-ee-gee, in here? He was called to a battle just now."

"Well then, see ya guys."

"Who was that guy?" Asked Bayonetta.

"The announcer. You haven't heard of him yet?" Said Mario.

"I was talking about that green guy that looks like you but taller, shorty."

"I'm not short! At least not as short as Little Mac..."

"Well anyway, Why is our meeting place the kitchen?"

"What? We couldn't find any other available place..."

"Popo-yo-po?"

(What's going on here, guys?)

"Sorry Kirby, but the Kinky fanclub is in your own kitchen."

"Poyo..."

(I was talking about why you guys are in the kitchen. And, did you leave anything edible here for me?)

"HAAH!"

(No. Just go away.)

"What are you doing here, Link?" Asked Toon Link.

"HYAH!"

(Obviously, for the same reason you are.)

"Popoyo!"

(Tch. No need to be rude.)

"What's happening here?" Asked Dedede.

"RUN!"

Before Dedede can do anything else, everyone was gone. Except they had all forgotten that they were on the 3rd floor. (Again?)

Unfortunately, Meta Knight didn't want to save them. He just flew out as everyone else fell.

"Seriously, what's with all these fanclubs?" Said Dedede.

"I like it. And, there's only a fanclub for us, you know." Said Zelda.

"Why does everyone ship us?"

"What's wrong with that?"

On the ground...

"Why do we keep falling for that?"

"Someone needs to remember that we're on the 3rd floor..."

"Everyone in this fanclub won't stop falling for Dedede and.. wait what?"

"That's what she said."

"Shut up, Mario."

"Guys, can you stop it?" Said Dedede, interrupting their conversation.

"BUT WE SHIP IT!"

"YAS!" Yelled Captain Falcon.

"And look at that soft beak!" Yelled Fox.

"Even I do." Said Luigi

"Shut up, Luigi."

"I'm going back to the cafe..."

This time, nobody from the club decides to follow him.

"Ah, well. At least nobody's here to ship me."

Suddenly, Wolf walks in.

"I bet Zelda would kill herself just for that soft beak."

Dedede then hears a faint yell, "Look at that soft beak."

"If you're here to ship us, just go away or I'mma clobber you."

"... No."

"So, what do you want to order?"

"A shipment of Zeldee donuts!"

Meanwhile, Pit, outside the cafe, wondered why there's hammering noises coming from the inside.

"What's happening inside?" Pit asked to Ganon.

"That's probably Dedede "clobbering" Zelda."

"...I understand what you're going at. And I don't like it.", Pit replied.

"You jealous?"

"No. That's wrong."

"Look who isn't an angel anymore. Welcome to the depths of hell."

"Look at those soft wings!" yelled Falco.

Zelda came to Pit asking, "What's going on?"

Ganon then replied, "Pit's jealous of Dedede."

"Zip it!" Replied Pit.

"...SELF-SHIPPING SINNER!"

"I thought you were an angel from skyworld?"

Suddenly, Wolf burst out of the donut store soaked in coffee.

"I was 360'd out of the store."

Wolf accidentally pushed Pit to Zelda just to ask where is Dedede.

"Woops, sorry."

Link, out of everyone's sight, watched Pit and Zelda, furiously.

"HYAH!"

(I'll get you, Pit and Dedede...)

Suddenly, Zelda blushed when she noticed it was Pit that bumped into her

"OOOOOOOOH!"

"Can someone end me now." said Pit.

"Sure." Said the announcer.

Pit then was suddenly taken to the Final Destination stage with Olimar.

"That escalated quickly"

"Yeah, we should end this shippy-shippy stuff right now." Said Olimar.

Then they both fell off the edge of the map together.


	6. Little Tubby

**Author(s)' Note: This is a chapter that was mostly created by only me and WolfieJones.**

Chapter 6: Little Tubby

After a week of who knows what, it was a normal day again, and it was raining.

"Welcome." Said Dedede.

"Hello." Said Olimar and Alph, who walked in with their pikmin from the rain.

"Can we stay here for a bit?"

"Ok, but why?"

"You should probably have figured out by now that only blue pikmin can stand water..."

"Ok... wait. Does that mean that aside from the blues, no other pikmin has ever taken a shower or something?"

"No, unless they have a way that they do that we haven't documented yet..."

Dedede turns to look at the one purple pikmin that they have with them.

"Tubby."

The purple pikmin looks back at Dedede, triggered by what he had just commented about it. It would say something, however, it has no mouth.

[What? How can you call me fat if you yourself are way bigger than me? Your ego is larger than this restaurant...]

"What's wrong, Tubby? Mad?" Said Dedede, enraging the already triggered purple pikmin.

"Sorry, Dedede, it doesn't like being called that." Replied Alph.

"Well, you guys and little tubby can stay here for as long as you want."

The purple pikmin, even more triggered than ever, latches on to Dedede and starts attacking him without any of the captain's command.

"GET IT OFF!"

"Li! Do something!"

"I remember when I first called it that. So long ago..."

"WHISTLE AT IT OR SOMETHING!"

But this time was different. The pikmin wouldn't respond to the whistle.

"I just did! You try!"

But again, no response.

"I'm adding that to my research."

"DO THAT LATER!"

Captain's Log:

It seems the purple pikmin, when called fat, will have no response to whistles. We don't know how long that effect lasts. More research needed.

With the two spacemen arguing while a large penguin being attacked by a purple carrot, while a bunch of other carrots watch, it was a pretty weird scene.

"'Ello!" Said Luigi.

"SOMEONE GET IT OFF!"

"Okay, goodbye now!"

Finally, Alph somehow got it off using a different pitch of whistle.

"THAT'S IT! GET THAT PURPLE FRUIT OUT!"

"Actually, it's a vegetable."

"I thought it was a fruit."

"JUST GET IT OUT, OR ELSE!"

Since the two fishbowl-headed friends were getting freaked out by Dedede's threats, they pretended to kick out the purple fruit (vegetable) out of the restaurant. Instead, they hid it inside Olimar's suit. He simply kept writing his log.

Captain's Log:

...If you call an enraged purple pikmin with a different pitch of whistle, it will respond to you. Anything else, and it will not work. Lesson learned: Don't call them tubby.

"Since you aliens are staying here, what would you like to order?"

"Just some regular flavored donuts."

"And what would Tubby want?"

Suddenly, the bottom-part of Olimar's suit started shaking.

"What's that?" Asked Dedede.

"Oh, oh, oh. Olimar's just hungry. He gets veeeeeery hungry." Replied Alph.

"So, just like Tubby?"

Olimar's suit started shaking even more.

"Uh, what?"

"Olimar. Did you drink that much coffee again."

"Yes? Sure, it was only 1 cup but it happens to be really strong..."

Dedede laughed. "Just like Zelda after that night."

The two astronauts looked at him in confusion and curiousity.

"Nevermind."

Then they sat there in awkward silence for a while, waiting for the rain to stop.

At some point, little tubby tried to get a look at what's currently happening.

(Keep that leaf of yours down! We're trying to hide you and besides, you're tickling me...)

But the pikmin didn't listen to him.

"What is that? Why's there a purple plant growing on you?"

"Uh, nothing!"

(I said keep it down!)

But it didn't listen, again.

"Lemme just go to the restroom. Is there any?"

"No."

"Well then. Bye guys!"

"Okay then..."

Luckily, the rain had stopped by then. On Olimar's way out, Fox ran by.

"Look at that soft carrot!"

"That's offensive to Little Tubby here...oh wait"

And the whole thing that had happened to Dedede happened to Olimar.

"Woah, woah, HOLD IT, PLEASE!"

"Captain, I think you need to be a little more sensitive.", Alph said as he carried Little...uhm

"Woah, sorry there."

"Yeah, I guess Little Tubby's okay." Said Alph.

Suddenly, Alph and Olimar heard a commotion from the kitchen.

"HELP!" Screamed Dedede.

An army of waddle dees were fighting another army of pikmin. It was because of some sort of cookie.

"So much for leaving them alone for awhile."

When they got to the kitchen, there indeed was a war. Instead of doing anything to resolve it, the two astronauts decide to say to Little Tu- I mean purple pikmin,

"See those waddle dees? I heard them call you Tubby."

Without any warning, Little Tu-purple pikmin bursted out into a raging version of himself. The purple pikmin smashed everything he saw. Until, he realized he wasn't destroying the waddle dees.

"Do you think this is a bad idea?" Alph asked

"If we're always sending them into battle, I don't think there's anything wrong with this..."

Captain's Log:

It has only been a week since that "Zeldee" thing. There is currently a war in the kitchen, waddle dees vs. pikmin, over a single cookie. I wonder why nobody bothered to share it or simply make another one?

Meanwhile, Dedede was screaming for help while being trampled by a stampede of waddle dees and pikmin.

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

"DO SOMETHING!"

"Like what?" Said Alph.

"BRING MAH PHONE!

"Okay, this is enough!"

Olimar then blew his whistle. But just like what happened before, Little Tubby did not respond, because for whatever reason, he couldn't learn to blow his whistle the same way Alph did.

"TUBBY'S ATTACKING ME AGAIN!" Screamed Dedede.

"THEN DON't CALL HIM BY THAT NAME!"

Wii Fit Trainer then entered the restaurant. She looked around confusedly.

"SOMEONE MAKE ANOTHER BATCH OF COOKIES!"

"I'm here to report on the healthiness of your restaurant. And you failed. You do know those things contain too much sugar..."

So Wii Fit Trainer made a new batch of cookies, except she removed all the sugar and replaced it with spinach and nectar. Nobody really liked them, but the pikmin did, mostly because of the nectar content. Flowers grew on their heads, and the war stopped. Even Little Tubby did.

Captain's Log:

The best way to stop Little Tu-a purple pikmin is to give it nectar cookies. Or you can still whistle with that different pitch.

Even if Little Tubby already calmed down, it no longer trusts in the captains or Dedede. Now, it's on it's own... Freely roaming on the mansion grounds.

Legend has it, if you come up to it and say "Little Tubby" 3 times, you will witness one of two things: Get beaten up by it or see it's magical power.


	7. Suck N' Tuck

**Author(s)' Note: This chapter was written by mostly only one person. That person being the same one who made all these ships.**

Chapter 7 - Suck N' Tuck

It was a dark night. Kirby, Ness, Lucas, Villager and Toon Link were camping outside. Kirby was forced to guard the little Zeldee fans until morning. While they were discussing about Dedede and Zelda, Kirby quietly slept in his own tent.

It was a quiet night. After a couple hours, the kids went to sleep, except for Toon Link and Villager. Lucas and Ness were sleeping in the same sleeping bag. (No that's not a ship.)

"Hey, has anyone explored the inside of Kirby?" Asked Villager.

"I don't think anyone could fit inside of him, especially all at once."

"Have you never been sucked by him before? Maybe you could just put your head in, and when it gets too hard to stay in, pull out."

"That's what she said."

"Well, let's try it."

"What about Ness and Lucas?"

They looked at them, sounding sleepily.

"We'll leave them."

Ah, children. They're really guillible sometimes, aren't they? The two crept outside the tent to the inside of Kirby's tent.

"So this is his mouth!"

"Shh. You might wake him up, and we won't have fun anymore."

"What are you guys doing?" Said Ness with Lucas following behind.

"We're gonna explore Kirby. Wanna come?"

"That's what she said."

"Quiet!"

The four of them, now, crept inside Kirby's mouth, it was probably larger than a pit.

"Umm, Why's everything dark and weird?"

"I think we've fallen in!"

The children then started yelling for Kirby to wake up. But it was no use.

After a few hours, daylight started appearing.

"Garden's wet, as usual." Said Alph.

"That's what she said." Said Olimar

"Stop."

The two walked past Kirby's tent, not noticing there's a tent.

"Hey, wanna go for some donuts at Dedede's?"

"Sure."

Meanwhile, inside Kirby...

"I'm bored. I wanna get out!" Said Ness.

"I'm getting sleepy."

"I need to go get my morning wood." Yelled Villager.

"What would you need that for?"

"I guess we'll need to wait until Kirby can blow us out." Said Toon Link.

"Guys, I just realize I have my phone!" Said Ness.

"Well, call somebody!"

Ness then started looking at his contacts.

"All I have as contacts are Lucas and King Dedede."

"Call Dedede then. Tell him that if he lets us out, we'll buy donuts." Replied Lucas.

Before he could even finish, Ness was already on the phone.

"Hey, Dedede. Uh, I know this might sound weird but we're stuck-"

"No signal?!"

"This was all your idea, Toon Link!"

"Hey, I was bored and curious!"

"You got us deep into this! Now, you have to pull us out!"

"Yeah. And I won't be able to get my morning wood-"

"Nobody cares about your wood!"

"Shut up guys! I'm trying to get us out!" Yelled Ness

They all looked at Ness. He had brought a five meter rope.

"Yes!"

"We will finally be free!"

"And I'll be able to get my wood. I'm probably gonna get the hard one."

"That's what she said."

Unfortunately, a five meter rope is really useless when trying to escape from another dimension. Only then had they realized there really wasn't anything they could do...

"What're we gonna do now."

"I guess we can just enjoy the comfort, of floating around."

Meanwhile, in Dedede's Donuts.

"I wonder where my regulars are." Said Dedede.

"I heard from Kirby that they're going on a camping trip." Replied Olimar.

"Without my regulars, I won't have regular money coming in."

"Let's take a peek in the garden, if they're there."

"You were there just earlier."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?"

"I did... customer research."

"Ok..."

In the pocket dimension...

"You know what? I'm going to call a random number and ask for help." Said Ness.

"No wait. Who knows who it might be?" Replied Lucas.

"I'm going to call it anyway."

"PK Thunder!"

And Ness' phone broke.

"Look what you did."

"Maybe we can use the five meter rope. How long is five meters in inches?" Said Villager.

"How will that help? We're in another dimension."

"I'm out of ideas. Let's keep screaming for help?"

"Yeah. I like the echoes anyway. Makes me feel deep and strong."

"HEY! ARE YOU AWAKE YET?!"

Back on the surface.

"Kirby!"

"KIRBAAAAAAY! If you don't come out, I'm showing everyone what you searched!"

Only then had he woken up.

"Poyo?"

(What?)

"It's customer research."

"Poyo.."

(That's waddle doo's phone.)

"Woah! We're did you come from?"

"Po-poyo-po."

(From upfront.)

"That's what she said."

Kirby then got triggered at Dedede.

Meanwhile, inside Kirby...

"KIRBY'S AWAKE!"

"He can now blow us, out!"

"Morning wood, here I come!"

Back on the surface... again.

"So how are you gonna blow 'em, out?"

"Poyo."

(I'll have to find them inside of me, by completely blanking out. Don't disturb me.)

"Okay, then. My poor, poor moneys." Said Dedede.

Everyone stared at him.

 **Author(s) Note:**


	8. Luigi's Adventure

**Author(s)' Note: Luigi and Little Tubby are gods, I guess.**

Chapter 8: Luigi's Adventure

It was a sunny day. Luigi was excited because there was a 90% off sale at Dedede's. He then happily hopped to DDD's Donuts.

"Wait, what?"

However, there was another sale that Luigi didn't know of. There was that 90% off sale, and an additional buy one get one free sale. So of course, the rest of the smashers had arrived there before him.

"I guess everyone went for the sale."

Sadly, Dedede only made 52 doughnuts. The last doughnut was for Pit. When Luigi got to the front of the line... They were sold out.

Luigi cried and cried for an entire hour. While Luigi is crying, Dedede made one more doughnut but Mario took it.

"Bad luck, huh?", Mario said as he bit the donut.

"Yep, wait, is that a donut?" Said Luigi.

"I got it while you were crying the whole time." Said Mario.

Luigi cried all day untill the a whole jar was filled with tears.

Dedede made a new doughnut, but it Dedede tripped on the chair. The donut accidentaly went into Mario's mouth.

"Sorry... Uh, what's your name again?" said Dedede.

"My name is Mario. " Said Mario. Even though Dedede was speaking to Luigi.

"Did you see Luigi?" Dedede searched the whole place for him.

Luigi left and ran to the garden as it started raining. He sat in the same place as he did the last few times. Luigi went running until he went to the magikarp aquarium they have at the mansion. It broke somehow and it flooded into the mansion.

Unfortunately, In that tank were all the magikarps, and one gyarados, the king of magikarps. Angered by the breaking of the tank, it is now out to murder Luigi.

Just then however, Little Tuby and Little Tubby walked by. Little Tuby was a friend, also a purple pikmin, but this one had only a leaf instead of a flower. Luigi, hearing about the rumors of Little Tubby, decided to take the risk...

"Little Tubby, Little Tubby, Little Tubby! Save me!"

The pikmin doesn't trust in anyone except Wii Fit Trainer and Luigi, but only out of pity. So it begins to give off a bright, shining light. It attacks the gyarados and manages to defeat it.

To clean the mess, Kirby needs to suck everything out of the mansion, mostly because everyone was simply too lazy to clean this up. But he was currently blanked out completely trying to search for the little smashers.

"What the?" Dedede said as he approached the wreckage. He was just about to use Kirby as a golf ball while he was blanked out. Good thing he didn't get hit, or he would have to start over again.

Little Tubby then skipped happily after destroying a gyrados, just like any other day, while Little Tuby following from behind.

Luigi was currently passed out, with a bunch of pikmin, what seems to be, sunbathing on him. Around Luigi was a bunch of dead pikmin, killed from the water from the aquarium, all but the blue ones of course.

After maybe a few hours, Luigi finally woke up, he was soaking wet. The first thing Luigi did was to spit out all the water he swallowed.

"Did I cry this much?"

"No, you didn't. That tank over there broke and you almost got killed. Little Tubby saved you... wait." Replied Olimar.

"Little Tubby? Oh, Little Tubby! I remember... wait.

Little Tubby reappeared suddenly, but only attacked Olimar.

Luigi then sneaked out without Little Tubby noticing. Not that Little Tubby would attack him though.

"SAVE ME LUI-"

Olimar was knocked out by a carrot. It only took him seconds since it knocked out a large water-type pokemon in minutes.

Luigi then started running, fast. He was worrying that Little Tubby would disembowl him and turn him into pikmin soup or something. But instead, Little Tubby just followed him without attacking. Luigi realized he was one of the only smashers that Little Tubby trusted.

"GREEN GUY! RUN! LITTLE TUBBY'S BEHIND YOU... wait." Screamed Marth.

"Don't worry, Little Tubby loves me. Little Tubby has trusted me, unlike some people."

"That sounds impossible"

But Luigi already left. After he did, Little Tubby gave him a gift. It was his very own bottle of Pit's Skin Lotion. The commercial for it said it turns you into a god in only 6 hours. No wonder Palutena is a goddess.

"Is this what you used to defeat that pokemon earlier?"

The little pikmin nodded.

"Should I try it?"

It nodded again.

Luigi then ran to the bathroom. He stripped himself of all clothes and rubbed the skin lotion all over himself. The lotion was shiny as Lucas's hair. When he got out of the bathroom, he looked gay.

Thinking about Lucas's hair made him realize where he actually was.

"Look at that soft skin!" Yelled Fox.

He then set out on an adventure to find the kids.

"Hey, Dedede. Have you noticed that the kids are missi-"

"They're inside Kirby. Now go away."

And Luigi's adventure to find the kids ends there.

"What?"

Only then he noticed, Dedede was gone.

"Hey! It's Little Tubby. Do you know where the kids are?"

"Yep. Dedede wasn't lying."

"YOU CAN TALK?!"

"I'm a god, of course I can talk."

"Can you make me god faster?"

"Just wait a bit."

"Also, where's Little Tuby?"

"I don't know."

"That doesn't sound good."

Little Tubby flew away. Luigi thought, Am I in dream right now?

Little Tubby came back just to reply, "No you aren't dreaming."

"Please don't read my mind."

"But if Little Tubby and Dedede weren't lying about where the kids were..."

Adventure! Again!

"No more adventures, please." Said Luigi.

Finished!

"Who are you talking to?" Asked Ganon.

"Nobody."


	9. Where's the Kids?

**Author(s)' Note: So the whole group of authors went on a trip to somewhere and now we're back, it explains why this took forever to post.**

Chapter 9: Where's the Kids?

The next day, Luigi woke up with powers. His powers were: Entire body 5% larger except feet, Can become invisible for only ten seconds, Will sing like Kirby forever, Can shift into Pichu, only Pichu. And teleportation.

The problem is, his powers don't work all the time.

So he went to Dedede's Donuts and asked for a donut and a coffee. But when Dedede took his order, he said "Remember, Do-Nut use your powers too much."

Bad pun alert. Luigi destroyed the restaurant. Then he went to go find the kids.

"Kirby, the kids are inside of you?"

"POPOPOYO!"

(YOU INTERRUPTED ME! NOW I HAVE TO FIND THEM AGAIN!)

"I can help you find them. Suck me instead."

"Poyo."

(No.)

"Please."

"Poyo."

(No.)

"Please."

"Poyo."

(No.)

"Please."

"Po-poyo-po."

(Okay. Just don't get lost.)

Luigi is then sucked in. Then, he gets lost. At least he found the kids somewhere.

"Hey kids!"

"SWIM AWAY!"

"NO WAIT! GET BACK HERE!"

Meanwhile, for no reason...

"Hey Zelda, wanna eat at my restaurant?" Asked Dedede.

"Whatever. Sure."

And so she ate while Dedede intently watched.

Back in the void... It was full of silence...

"Okay, so...what now?", Toon Linked asked.

"Hey guys, I found something!"

It was Meta Knight's candy jar. All the candies in it were intact. Now the kids knew why recently Meta Knight always appeared to be looking for something, despite not asking anyone if they had seen it.

"Should we try to find some of our stuff here while we're stuck?" Asked Villager.

"Yes!"

Meanwhile, Luigi found something.

"What?"

It was his Mr. L costume.

"How did this get in here?"

The more he kept swimming, the weirder the things got.

"Who's clothes are these?"

It was Link's.

"Well, you know where he's been if you know what's in here.."

He then found a piece of paper. It read:

"Where are you, Keeby?"

"Hmmm. Who's Keeby?"

He then kept swimming in hopes of finding something interesting.

"Wat?"

It was a baby picture of Dedede. He looked like any new hatchling would. Basically, featherless and blind. Luigi wondered if he became like this because he looked like that.

Luigi then started getting anxious. He did not want to be here. But, he was now lost and it would probably take a while for Kirby to find him.

"Poyo!"

(Found you!)

Luigi then woke up, outside of Kirby.

"Po-poyo."

(Pulling you out was hard.)

"Poyopo"

(Okay, so let's never mention about this again.)

"I found the kids, but they swam away..."

"Poyo."

(I hope they don't see the note.)

"Oh, yeah. Who's Keeby?"

The both of them became quiet.

"Poyo."

(Someone you don't need to know)

"Also, what are Link's clothes doing in the-"

"Popoyo! Poyo!"

(Wait what are we doing just standing here? Let's go find them! We're wasting time!)

"Hmmmm..."

 **Author(s)' Note: I'm thinking maybe shorter chapters or what?**


	10. 95) The Hunt

**Author(s)' Note: Presenting... What will probably be the shortest half-chapter...**

Chapter 9.5: The Hunt

The next day, Luigi prepared for his search and rescue, with Fox. But then Luigi noticed he still had a couple more powers. So he simply went to Kirby and teleported the kids out.

"Ack! Poyo!"

(Ack! What the-?)

"Look at those kids! They're out!" Said Fox.

"You can go now."

"Bye."


	11. Young and Free

**Author(s)' Note: Yeah this chapter is kinda long. It also doesn't make sense.**

Chapter 10: Young and "Free"

It was a normal day. Wario was transporting his new machine to Dedede's Donuts so he can get Dedede to sponsor it.

"What does it do?" Asked Dedede.

"It makes you younger. But I'm not talking about making you look younger, it actually does."

"Can I try?"

"Sure."

Dedede stepped under the ray of Wario's machine. All the smashers watched as Wario turned on his machine.

But the machine malfunctioned and turned everyone into children. The room was filled with crying.

Except for Luigi. Since he was technically a god, it didn't affect him. Unfortunately, he lost his mustache.

"Oh dear."

He realized he would need to take care of all these children. Before he could react, Baby Mario stole his hat and threw it in front of ROB who burnt it with his laser.

Kirby had hair. Dedede looked questionable. ROB just shrank in size. Pikachu became Pichu while Pichu became Raichu, because reasons. Falco looked just like Dedede but thinner and taller, but they were both blind. The children became babies, which means they became bald. Little Mac was crying because he became ten years old and his gloves were too big for him.

But there was another problem. Since they all turned into children, None of them fit into their clothes anymore.

The children ran around, destroying DDD's cafe. Luckily, Luigi locked the cafe's door before anyone could get out and, most likely, destroy the rest of the mansion.

Luigi used the announcement system and sang Dedede's Donuts. Which only scared the kids more.

He didn't know what to do so he ran to the kitchen.

"Can any of you make milk?"

None of the waddle dees cared.

He ran to the front of the restaurant and tried turning on the machine. But it had no batteries. So he had to get new ones outside the restaurant. But he left the door open and let the kids out in the process.

After running halfway to the batteries in Wario's room, he realized he forgot to close the cafe's door. Great. Now he has to find everyone.

Meanwhile, Pit was trying to learn how to fly. Kirby was busy looking at himself at the mirror because of his hair. Meta Knight was busy looking for another mask. Fox was flirting like a child with Zelda, who was also a child. Dedede and Falco were running around blindly, because they're blind. Lucas was crying because he was too short to reach a sunflower. ROB was being played with. Mr. Game Watch was trying to cook something while everyone else was poking him.

Meanwhile...

"Where is everyone?" Asked Master Hand.

"HELP! EVERYONE BECAME KIDS AND I NEED HELP!"

Unfortunately, they were too busy laughing at him.

"Sooner or later someone will die..."

"Ok fine we'll help you."

The two hands then got to work, trying to get the kids. They were terrible at it.

Meanwhile... again

Pit meanwhile finally learns to fly. He begins flying up towards the sun while Dark Pit watches. He decides not to tell Pit what happens because "It's just a prank".

"NOPE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN" Said Master Hand who grabbed Pit before he could get too close.

Olimar and Alph had reverted back to their original size and were now 2 cm tall. To avoid being stepped on, they hid inside Dedede's flower pot, trying to plant pikmin.

Dedede was still screaming, running around. So was Falco.

Meta Knight was asleep while everyone around him was drawing on his face using Wigglytuff's marker. (Formerly Jigglypuff.)

Once Meta Knight woke up, everyone, who had horrible pronunciation skills, called him "Meme Kite".

"MEME KITE! MEME KITE! MEME KITE!"

Meta Knight has become the new Luigi.

"STAHP IIIIIIT! OR I WEEEELL KEEEEL YOUUU!

"I don't like where this is going..." Said Luigi.

Link was trying to sing at the same time to Zelda. Zelda, having bad tastes, liked it.

"HYAAAAH!"

(So?)

"Marry me!"

Then, Zelda sees Fox walk by.

"Never mind, I choose Fox."

She then runs to Fox.

Link meanwhile was crying, because he has failed.

The two baby Links were poking each other with sticks.

"YAAAAH!"

"BWAAAH!"

Captain Falcon was practicing his Falcon Punch.

"FAAAAWWLCON PAAAAAUUUNCH!"

Dedede's store blows up. Fortunately, the machine wasn't destroyed.

Captain Falcon then ran to the kitchen.

"FAAAAWWLCON PAAAAAUUUNCH!"

After wrecking the kitchen, everyone kind of got angry.

"GEEEEET HEEEEEM!" Yelled Meme Kite.

Luigi stumbled into their little fight.

"Everyone stop!"

Nobody listened.

"I'll just teleport all of you then."

Sadly, they were all teleported into the Final Destination stage, by accident.

"NO WAIT WRONG PLACE"

Luigi tried teleporting them somewhere else. But they ended up inside Smash Mansion. They began destroying everything there.

The children were hungry, so they went to the partly destroyed kitchen and grabbed a can of soda. Unfourtunately, they all shared that one can and ended up sugar high.

But this soda can had a mini smash ball in it.

Ness then drank the soda. High from it, he started glowing. PK starstorm. No words needed.

"Take cover!" Yelled Luigi.

Little Tubby was watching the entire movie-like scene.

"Where's the snacks?"

Olimar and Alph were trying to get Little Tubby's attention but it was no use.

At the most chaotic moment in this really chaotic moment, Ike just came back from a vacation.

"Hi guys!" He said as he opened the mansion's door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Bye guys! I'm off to another vacation!"

Olimar and Alph finally got Little Tubby's attention...

"Oh hey guys! Did you want some popcorn?"

Little Tubby could not hear them.

"Oh well."

Olimar and Alph were crushed by a popcorn with the same weight as them. When they tried to eat it anyway, they were interrupted because they were still wearing their helmets. They made new ones from a few glass shards.

Luigi couldn't do anything anymore. He just walked to the partly destroyed garden and sat there depressed.

Back inside...

Master Hand and Crazy Hand managed to put everyone who escaped back inside. However, they couldn't get everyone to calm down so they figured to try to put them to sleep. But Wigglytuff couldn't sing properly, so they had to do that manually.

But since they both suck at singing, really badly, they got Kirby to sing for them. Because, looks enough like Jigglypuff, right?

An extremely loud screech was heard. It only made the children cry more.

"Poyo..."

(What? That's the same song Meme Kite sings to me...)

"Stop calling me that!" Said Meta Knight as he ran by with a plastic bag on his head.

"B-but nobody can pwonounce M-Meme K-Kite pwoperry?" Replied Lucas.

Luigi then walked into the store.

"I'm back, guys."

"SING US A SONG MAMA LUIGI!"

Luigi stood there, unknown on what to do.

"SING! SING! SING! SING!"

It was five-year old Luigi's dream to sing. Five-year old.

He started singing. Or...at least that's what he thought. It sounded more like screeching.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! REEEEEEEEE!"

Everyone started crying. Even the two hands started tearing up in pain, with their non-existent eyes.

Someone needed to take action. And it was a waddle dee. It got access to an item closet. That waddle dee threw a Mr. Saturn.

"AAAAA-"

Luigi was hit by that Mr. Saturn.

"What was that for?!"

The waddle dee ran as fast as he could to get back to Dedede's restaurant.

"Okay then. That was odd."

He continued torturing the little kids. Luckily, Meme Kite was passed out due to a plastic bag tied to his head.

"Pwease save me."

Luigi stopped. The torture was over. Then suddenly. Mario accidentally pressed the button that will trigger the mansion's cannon. Why they had such thing, it was Crazy Hand's idea.

"Pwease kill me." Said Mario as he pushed it with all his might.

"Baby Mario! NOOO!"

Before Mario could jump in the cannon, Luigi slapped him which trapped him in a bubble. Unfortunately, Luigi fell in the cannon.

The cannon launched Luigi out of the mansion into Dedede's restaurant. He fell onto the large button of Wario's machine.

Everyone blacked out for five seconds. Once they woke up...

"Why are we naked?" Said Lucas on top of Ness.

"I don't like this so get off."

"Too late, I took a picture." Said Dedede. He was probably going to use that against them.

Meanwhile, Luigi woke up, as a baby.

"Wat."

Little Tubby was looking at him.

"Goodbye Luigi. You're too stupid now."

"Wait, Twabby."

Little Tubby then turned around and gave the death stare at him. Which was ironic because only Luigi does that.

Luckily, he wasn't killed. To make him stop calling him "Twabby", he just turned Luigi back into a human.

 **Author's Note: There supposedly weren't going to be any implied ships here, but, uh, one of us did just that.**


	12. Link Reacts

**Author(s)' Note: We have a feeling this story probably won't end until next year? Uh, great I guess.**

Chapter 11: Link Reacts

It was two weeks after the previous chapter. DDD's Donuts was still being rebuilt after an incident.

"I wanna make a TV studio with my own channel, again!"

So he made a rebooted version of Channel DDD. He just took a room from the mansion and he connected everyone's TV to his studio.

He then put up ads, saying "MAKE YOUR OWN CHANNEL AND BROADCAST IT TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!"

So whoever got there first had their channels made. Broadcasting would start tomorrow.

The next day...

A couple smashers were already lined up at his studio. First were Olimar and Alph with their new TV show, Garden WarZ. It was interesting-not.

"Welcome to our garden. We will teach you how to plant a pikmin. First-"

It was so boring, Link changed the channel.

Next TV show.

"Welcome to the "Tonight Show With Haaaaands!. With three special guests for our very first special episode. Luiiigiii, Fox, King Deded-wait."

"Skip the intro!"

"We'll be right back after this commercial break."

"Dededededededededededededededededededededededededededede...

After twenty seconds...

"DOOONUUUUTSSS!"

Link screamed at his chair.

"Okay, we're back with Fox!"

Link was happy the show was back. But, where were the other guests?

"So, what's your name?"

"Umm... Fox."

"Nationality?"

"Umm...Corneria?"

"So you come from the land of corn? You seem like a pretty corny guy to me." Shouted Crazy Hand from the background.

Everyone laughs in the background. Link cringes.

"And that's the end of our episode. See you next time."

Next TV show...

"CAPTAIN FALCON VS. WIIIIIIIIIIILD!"

"Today, we will explore... Olimar's garden!"

Captain Falcon walked quietly throughout the show.

"Ooooh, what's this? It looks edible."

Captain Falcon munched on a pikmin while Link watched in horror. He wanted to change the channel but he also wanted to see what happens next.

"Oooh, another camera running in the wild."

Captain Falcon walked nearer.

"It belongs to Olimar and Alph?"

"HELP!"

"What was that?"

"SOMEONE HELP! OLIMAR WAS EATEN BY A BULBO-"

"It sounds like a monster, we gotta kill it."

Next TV show...

"This is, DD Newz, Always watching." Said Dedede.

"Today, we have BREAKING NEWS."

Link gets surprised.

"Here, live, we have Link watching an 18-plus movie. You may think he is old enough to watch it, nope, he is only 17 years old."

There was knocking on the door.

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP. WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ILLEGAL." Shouted Villager carrying the camera and an axe.

Link turned around and looked at the tree outside the window. A waddle dee then fell off a tree.

"YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. IT'S TIME TO CUT!"

Link's door was busted open and Villager ran to Link who was watching DD Newz, putting their show into recursion.

"Umm... MORE BREAKING NEWS!" Said Dedede.

"Captain Falcon, Alph and Olimar have been eaten by a bulborb."

"We currently have no reporters on the scene so, in other news: The hands are now disowning everyone and Ike has finally came back from his vacation."

"Oh, and one more thing to mention, since the hands are disowning us, our new leader shall be Mr. Sakurai."

 **Author(s)' Note: Well good luck with him.**


	13. The Signs of Favoritism

**Author(s)' Note: This chapter is dedicated to C.P. No, that isn't for my username. Those who know us personally can figure.**

Chapter 12: The Signs of Favoritism

"Ok, bye guys." Said Master Hand and Crazy Hand.

"But why are you guys disowning us?"

"You said you wanted us to stop mishandling you."

"Was that pun intended?"

But the hands already disappeared from sight, and in the spot that they had left, Sakurai was there.

"Hey, Mr. Sakurai. Can you nerf Mii?" Asked Luigi.

"I came back and the first thing you ask me is to nerf yourself?"

"No. I mea-"

But it was too late, Luigi was nerfed. At least there wasn't a new tier list to interfere with everyone's lives again, not yet that is.

"Can I see my children? It's been a while..."

Meanwhile, Link was being imprisoned in Villager's room.

"HYAAH!"

(Let me out! I wasn't watching an 18 film.)

"I'll let you out once Dedede lets me."

"HAH!"

(But...)

"No."

Dedede wasn't available at the moment, As he and Sakurai's other children were visiting him and saying hi.

"Haaai-"

"Go away." Said Sakurai

"Poyo?"

(You don't love me anymore?)

"I love everyone equally."

"Poyo-po."

(At least I'm better than Dedede.)

Pit walks up to Sakurai.

"Hi Daddy, I've been wondering, why don't I look the same as Kirby, Dedede, or Meta Knight? Aren't we all your kids?"

"Well, you see, You're from a different universe and I adopted you because your original parent died."

Pit then realizes everything. He slowly walks away while looking down.

"Hi Pit. What are you doing here in the garden?" Said Luigi.

"Same as your reason. Being sad."

"Oh, I'm just hiding here from Little Tubby."

"I'm getting depressed for what just happened..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Meanwhile...

"HAAH!"

(I will give you a rupee if you let me out.)

"I'm too lazy to convert the money."

"HUUT!"

(I'll give you my table with a stool included.)

"Done."

Link was then let free into the wild, of the mansion.

"Wanna play something?" Asked Luigi.

"No." Said Pit.

"Oh."

Awkward silence ensued.

"So, where's Alph, Olimar and Captain Falcon?"

"Did you watch the news last night?"

"No."

"Then how did you know everyone was getting disowned?"

"I heard it from Kirby."

Suddenly, a bulborb appeared in front of them.

"Do we kill it?"

"Whatever."

After a thirty second fight, it was dead.

"Hey, thanks for releasing us." Said the three smashers stuck inside it.

"Why couldn't you just beat up the bulborb from the inside, Captain Falcon?", Pit asked.

"I was traumatized."

"And did you eat my pikmin?" Asked Olimar.

"Umm..."

"Really?"

Meanwhile, inside the mansion...

"Poyopo."

(Daddy Sakurai, I drew a picture of you.)

Normally, Kirby's drawings suck but this time, it was actually good, because it was actually traced from a picture.

"It actually looks good for once, my son. When did your drawings improve so suddenly?"

While he and Kirby were talking, Meta Knight and Dedede were talking in the back.

"Hmm... It seems impossible for his drawing skills to improve in just two hours."

"I know what we should do." Said Meta Knight.

But before they could start what could have been their plan, Kirby told them he just traced it.

"I guess, you still suck." Said Mr. Sakurai.

"Poyo?"

(Was that a pun?)

"Maybe."

"Hey, Mr. Sakurai. Can you nerf Luigi?" Asked Mario.

"Sure. But just so you know I already did."

Without noticing it, Luigi just got nerfed. Again.

Just then, Ike got back from his vacation.

"Ike's back, boys."

"I thought you were already back." Said Dedede.

"What? No?"

"But it was on the news." Said Toon Link.

"Hey, at least I'm back?"

Meanwhile...

The two Roys were fighting over who Sakurai liked more.

"Guys, stop it!" Said Little Mac.

"Go away!" Said the two Roys at the same time.

"Guys, guys. I like the two of you equally, but, Roy is my boi."

The two looked at each other confusedly as Sakurai left.

"WHAT? I GOT NERFED AGAIN?" Said Luigi.

"Ha! Deserved!" Said Pit.

"I told him to nerf Mii, not me."

"You want to be nerfed again? Okay." Said Sakurai.

Before Luigi could say anything, he was already nerfed.

That night, Sakurai called the hands.

"Why did you give me a boatload of problems?"

"Umm..."

"At least, give me a hand."

The two hands who were on a vacation suddenly died inside. Or at least, just Master Hand.

"We'll get back the place if you stop making puns."

"Deal."

"We'll be there in two hours."

Meanwhile, Dedede and Kirby were fighting on who's restaurant was better, at midnight, outside.

"Mine's better. I have my rights to say it's better." Said Dedede.

"Popoyopo?"

(Isn't this yours?)

"THAT'S MY DONUT RECIPE!"

Sakurai then ran to them. The two were having a tug-of-war while Meta Knight and a waddle dee were watching. About half of the smashers were secretly watching through the windows.

It seemed that he had enough of this mansion nonsense so he went full parent mode, seeing as they are his creations.

He inhaled and said, "Why don't you give your little brother a chance, Kirby?"

Everyone except Dedede died inside. Just then, the two hands appeared.

"We'll take it from here." Said the two hands.

"Should I give you a hand with your luggage?" Asked Sakurai.

"Get out."

Sakurai disappeared into thin air as he said bye to everyone.

 **Author(s)' Note: Based on true events. While touring Singapore that is.**


	14. More Things to Watch

**Author(s)' Note: Since we got the idea for this story from our waterbottles, we also got an idea for a product you'll see as you read this chapter...**

Chapter 13: More Things to Watch

"After all the commotions, I honestly wonder why I still even stay here." Said Luigi as he turned the TV on to watch something. There have been more shows than the last time he watched.

"Welcome to the Tonight Show With Haaaaaandsss!"

"Today, we have our guest, Ness."

"So Ness, what's your name?"

"Uh, Ness."

"Age?"

"I'm 13."

"Current relantionship with Lucas?"

"We're just friends."

Lucas was currently watching the show. After coming across the question, he turned off the TV.

"Can we see you without your hat?"

"What? No."

After that, a war started. Everyone versus Ness with his hat.

"REMOVE THE HAT!"

"NOOO!"

Luigi watched this show confusedly. He even thought he accidentally changed the channel.

"I still wonder why I'm here." he said while staring.

Then, all of a sudden, the screen went black. Someone just decided to cover the cameras instead of doing something like showing a commercial break.

"Hey! Don't cover the camera! All the viewers will see is dark-ness!" Shouted Crazy Hand in the background.

"Someone show a commercial!"

Luigi started getting bored so he went to the bathroom to take a break. While gone, a commercial showed.

"Somewhere off in the garden, there's a pikmin that helps other pikmin more than Olimar and Alph themselves."

"Hey!" Said Alph angrily while watching the commercial.

"His name is Little Tubby, but he's no shorty. He realized the greatest thing he'd do in life was to help others grow."

In the commercial, a bunch of pikmin are happily bonding with Little Tubby, playing games and the blues were pushing each other into a pond.

"However, he couldn't have done it without Pit's Skin Lotion."

"With Pit's Skin Lotion, you'd be god faster than Meta Knight can fly."

"I do not like this." Said Meta Knight angrily while watching.

The commercial didn't actually say it took 6 hours, but if it works, that counts.

"So buy now for only 6.99 Smash Coins at WarioMart."

"Have motion, have devotion and have an ocean of Pit's Skin Lotion."

"What was that?" Said Olimar.

"Does this mean Tubby is a god now?", Alph asked

"Wasn't he before?"

"Also what is that slogan?"

"Motion, devotion and an ocean of skin lotion? It actually wants to make me buy it."

Next show...

"This is DD Newz, always watching."

"BREAKING NEWS: DDD's Donuts is finally repaired and is now open for business."

"In other breaking news, Ness was seen without a hat. According to me and Villager, that's is a crime, called public indecency. Here, we have him on the scene."

"Here I am outside Ness's room, and he has currently locked himself inside."

Villager then broke down the door with his axe, scaring Ness.

"How come only now you arrest me when some of us have already seen me without a hat, and that I've taken it off before? They have no problem with it.."

"Shush. We need news, just go with the flow."

"But, still..."

"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"

"Haha. Classic Villager." Said Dedede.

"In other news, Pit's Skin Lotion's sales go through the roof, mostly bought by waddle dees and pikmin."

"Huh? Oh, in other news, everyone, including me, are going on a trip to a resort. So pack your stuff, and get ready to leave in a week. Also, there will be free complimentary donuts for you guys."

"That's it for tonight. DD Newz, always watching."

 **Author(s)' Note: Be sure to wear decent clothes, readers.**


	15. Left Behind

**Author(s)' Note: One of us got the idea to base this off of Home Alone (If you've seen that movie). Though, with an extra random twist due to the authors.**

Chapter 14: Left Behind

"Isn't it next-next week?" Asked Toon Link

"Are you joking or not?" Said Villager.

"I am."

Everyone was hurriedly packing, obviously ignoring Dedede's tip last week.

"Hey. Have you seen Ness?" Asked Lucas.

"No. I haven't."

Of course Villager saw him, he was currently locked inside his room. But, he just decided to leave Ness behind as a joke.

"We didn't leave anyone, right?" Asked Master Hand.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Replied Crazy Hand.

Everyone left. Except for Ness.

But he did manage to burn down the door, the rest of the mansion was fire-proof, so there weren't any problems. He wandered though the halls in search of everyone.

"Someone!"

Silence.

"Anybody...?"

Meanwhile...

"I think we forgot someone."

"WHERE'S NESS, GUYS?" Screamed Lucas.

Everyone looked at each other.

"He's probably already there. I mean, he was the most excited one."

"Hmm..."

"Someone?"

Ness decided to try and sleep off until they come back.

After a couple of hours, the smashers got to the resort. Wii Sports Resort, that is.

"I'm certain we forgot someone." Said Master Hand.

"Nonsense." Said Crazy Hand.

After gathering everyone up, the hands started their welcoming.

"This is... um... nevermind. The town is good. The volcano in the ba-"

Before they could finish, everyone has ran off.

"Hey, Luigi. I bet I'm better than you at swordfighting." Said Toon Link.

"Duh."

Meanwhile...

"Hey there." Said Sakurai.

"Haai-" Said Kirby.

"Aren't you Pit?"

Depression filled Kirby. But that didn't distract him from what he was currently doing; Staring at a candy jar, with friends.

"What are you doing?"

"POPOPOYOPOYO!"

(Shut up! Go away! Very busy!)

"That isn't how you treat Daddy..."

The last one to look away, grab a candy or move wins the jar. People joining were Dedede, Kirby, Meta Knight (just to get his candy jar back) and Pit. They all wore a blank expression on their faces.

But people were also watching them compete.

"Hey Kirby! Just suck it up!" A random Mii said.

"That's what she said!" Replied another guy.

Dark Pit was also there. He tried to distract everyone in any way possible. So, he plucked off one feather from Pit and Dedede. Pit tried his best to not flinch, and Dedede simply replied, "Would ya stop touching me?"

"That's what she said!"

Meta Knight was the only one who didn't have any problems with focusing right now. That is, until Lucina walked over.

"Look at this! Four friends competing over a candy jar... so cute!"

This statement caused Meta Knight's eyes to flash different colors. Everyone else tried so hard not to look away...

After five minutes of watching, Sakurai started to get bored.

"Lemme try my hacking skills."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Dark Pit.

Sakurai then teleported the candy jar inside of Kirby. Everyone wondered where the candies went, even Kirby didn't know. But they still kept staring at the spot it once was.

"What?" Said Meta Knight,

"Hwat?" Said Dedede.

"Poyo?"

(What?)

"Hmmph?" Said Pit.

They didn't know what happened. Fortunately, Kirby finally knew so he went to Sakurai.

"POPOYOPOPOYOPOYOPOYOPO!"

(DADDY WHY YOU DO THIS TO US?!)

"I don't know, I was bored."

Kirby then went full-triggered like clobbering-time Dedede. The rest just got depressed knowing they have lost.

Meanwhile, Toon Link won the swordfight against Luigi as usual.

"You know that you are definitely better at using swords than me, right?" Asked Luigi.

"Yep, I'm going around challenging everyone else to a duel. I'm recording those who win and lose."

Back at the mansion...

The pikmin, waddle dees and lumas have teamed up out of boredom, so they decided to make traps for the first person that entered the mansion when they got back.

Only, they didn't know that Ness was left behind. As he walked through the halls and different rooms, he wondered why there were so many items and some of the smashers' stuff scattered everywhere. He decided to leave it alone for now.

"Welp, it looks like I have the whole mansion to myself!", Ness exclaimed.

Boy, he was wrong.

The moment he stepped into his own room, an axe swung from the ceiling, almost hitting his face. However, it hit his hat, which took it off and broke it.

"Uh, what was that?"

He then realized his hair was out.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

He then ran to his closet, looking at his collection of caps. Appearently, that was the last one he had. So he just decided to go to Final Destination to throw it off the edge. Once he did, it respawned in new condition.

"At least my hat's back but where's everyone else?"

He walked into the garden. Before he could see, he stepped on a piece of manure.

"How did this even get here?"

He decided to leave the garden, afraid that he would get himself into something. Then, he got eaten by a bulborb.

"Come on!"

Meanwhile, Kirby was still furious.

"Hey, Kirby!"

"POPOYOYOPOYOPYOYPO..."

(I WON BUT I DIDN'T GET TO TASTE THE CANDY...)

"Okay then. Bye."

Nearby, Luigi opens his own stand. He calls it "Lee Wee G Brothers".

"Who's your other brother?" Asks Dark Pit

"Mario."

"I'M NOT YOUR LEE WEE G BROTHER!" Screams Mario. "My name is Mario Mario!"

"Bye guys!" Said Dark Pit.

Unfortunately, his store didn't get popular.

Sakurai walks over.

"Hi."

"MASAHIRO SAKURAI?! What are you doing here? I thought you left..."

"Sorry that your store isn't popula-"

Suddenly, A bunch of Mii children came running towards Luigi's stand.

"BAG OF FRIES?! WHERE?"

"What...?"

Weirdly, that's how Luigi's stand became popular.

Meanwhile, Dedede realized that this was his chance to advertise too. Luckily, he brought his compact set-up-your-own-stand.

"Hey little girls and boys!"

"AAAH!"

"No wait! I'm here to give you free donuts!"

"Yaaaay!"

While the kids were eating their donuts, Dedede made a plan.

"Who wants to know how these babies are made?"

"Ewww!"

"No! I meant the donuts!"

"Okaaay!"

Dedede then started his presentation.

"I will present: Inside The Donut Hole!"

"First, we get our dough!"

Dedede realized he forgot to bring dough. Luckily, Kirby walked by.

"KIRBY! I NEED THE DOUGH!"

"Poyopo."

(I don't have any money.)

"NO I MEANT BREAD DOUGH!"

"Poyo."

(Oh, ok. Here.)

Dedede ran back to his stand and continued on his presentation.

"Next we roll the dough."

"After that, we beat it, together."

"HAHAHA!"

"Ugh."

After his horrifyingly-cringy presentation, the kids walked away, not caring about it.

"Popoyo!"

(A-ha! Failure.)

"Shut up, gumball."

Dedede then tried to hit Kirby away. Sadly, he slipped and instead hit himself.

 **Author(s)' Note: The whole "Lee Wee G Brothers" thing was actually based from a true story where I read the logo of a restaurant wrong as that exact phrase.**


	16. The Psychics' Chat

**Author(s)' Note: Sorry to say this, but this will probably be the final chapter. Maybe until we decide to continue it or what.**

Chapter 15: The Psychics' Chat

Meanwhile, in the smash mansion, Ness was still stuck inside the bulborb.

"Hello? Anybody?", he screamed hoping that someone would hear him.

Before anyone could reply, the bulborb walked into the front door of the mansion, which was already open. It unfortunately, set off all the traps.

Once the bulborb died, the pikmin and the waddle dees cheered. Suddenly, Ness crawled out.

"What?"

"Uh... hi?" Said Little Tubby.

Meanwhile, at the beach, Mario, Luigi and Bowser joined a marathon. Bowser Jr. was also supposed to join but he declined.

"Wanna join?" Asked Luigi.

"No. I have business to attend to and daddy issues to repress."

Luigi then noted he was an idiot.

Once the race started, Mario overtook Bowser, a couple of people and Luigi.

"So long, gay Bowser!"

The moment Mario looked ahead, Luigi overtook him while giving him the death stare.

"Wh-what happened?" Asked Ness.

But nobody was there to answer his question since everyone left before he could ask.

Ness then walked around the deserted mansion. He felt like he was being watched. Little Tubby talked to him telepathically.

"If you're looking for everyone else, they're at the beach."

Ness tried to use PK Teleport to get to where they were. He thought running to the end of the hall would be enough, but sadly it wasn't. He hit the wall.

"NAAAAOOOO!"

"What's wrong?" Asked Little Tubby.

"I like the beach."

"You like bleach?"

"That's not what I sai-"

"Okay, what flavour?"

"Tasteless. And I don't want bleach."

Meanwhile, Ike sneaks off to the bar and meets others. There were guy Miis with abs. He can feel his abs TENSE as he watches the other people.

But, Snake noticed Ike was watching, instead of destroying him, he watched too. He felt his hands shake and his feet stomping.

"Now, what are you doing?", Snake asked. Ike was surprised once he heard Snake. It made him feel awkward.

"Let's leave."

"We?"

"Fine. Just me."

Ike went around and met two Miis. Sweetpie, a female Mii and Nebula, a male Mii. It seemed like the two were dating. (We don't need to describe them cuz they'll never appear in the story again)

"Ok, I'm leaving now."

So Ike left the bar, he didn't even get anything. He eventually caught up with Snake.

"Hey, wait up!", Ike shouted.

But as he caught up, a group of fangirls saw them both. They began running after them.

Their screehes were so loud, the whole world would probably collapse.

"GET THEM!"

"RUN!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

But somehow, the fangirls did manage to catch them and they proceeded to take all their items.

"THEY TOOK RAGNELL!"

"AND MY GUNS! Who knows what they'll do with those... We should probably stay away from fans next time."

"Don't tell me you're just gonna let that slide!"

Suddenly, Marth appeared with his guns. They were just regular Nerf guns, but with Marth's face plastered all over them.

"Here comes the Merfguns!"

"What?"

"Merfguns?"

"I didn't know Merfguns exist. And, where did you get those?"

"They do exist now!"

"Stop."

"But really, where did they take Ragnell? I can't fight for my friends without it."

"Here, you can have one Merfgun."

"No! I don't want your Merfgun!"

"MERFGUNS DONT EXIST IDIOTS! Only Nerf guns do. Speaking of, we shouldn't let Sakurai know about this... He'll nerf us. Did you hear about what happened to Luigi?"

"...Yeah. I did."

So the three of them decide to go find their stuff, before anyone else would find out. But, just then, Sakurai appeared.

"WHAT?! YOU LOST YOUR STUFF?!"

"Uh, NO!"

Meanwhile, Pit entered the bar.

"How old are you?"

"I don't know."

"Good enough."

"Do you serve alcoholic coffee?"

"We serve anything."

Pit looked at the sign that the place was looking for new menu additions. He got his coffee, then left to go tell Dedede about it.

On his way there, however, he remembered on TV that Dedede was supposed to give free donuts to everyone. The penguin must have forgotten. This of course, upset Pit.

"...1000 for a good game, 1000 for a terrible fanbase", Dedede said as he was talking to Kirby.

"And also- hey what are you doin' here?" He turned to Pit.

"I-I wanted some milk." The angel blurted.

"I want him to drink his milk."

"Wait what?"

Suddenly, Young Link appeared drinking milk.

"Poyo" (You want Toon Link's milk?)

"Umm..."

"I have no idea what you guys are talking about, and I don't think I want to know." Toon Link said as he walked away.

"You want some?" Said Young Link.

"Are Wario's cells called Wariocells?" Asked Dedede, drunkenly.

"Stop."

Meanwhile, Ness was still all alone.

He searches through the mansion for scandalous secrets.

"Captain Falcon has a picture without his helmet and gloves?"

"Apparently, yes" he thought.

"He looks like an entirely new person"

"I love his hair."

Apparently, he had been broadcasting his thoughts to all who could speak telepathically to him, unintentionally.

"Though I am a being with all knowledge, I think there are things that I shouldn't know about.", Mewtwo said as he looked up from the book he was reading.

"You can hear me?!"

"Duh. You've been thinking about some interesting things in the last few minutes...Things I believe you should try to keep to yourself, by the way, you like Lucas."

"No I don't. We're like, 100 years apart."

"Still... You're both 13."

"Hey," Said Lucas. "I can hear you too..."

"Okay, bye" But he never actually disconnected.

"Why are we talking about this?" Said Lucario.

"Nevermind, nevermind. Forget this all happened.", Ness replied

"Forget what happened?" Said Pit. He also brought Palutena and Dark Pit to the conversation.

"Oh, c'mon. Give me a break. We're not even seeing each other physically and you guys still want to talk. Don't you have anything better to do?"

"No.", They all replied. "Can we see that Captain Falcon pic then?"

"Fine." So Ness sent them a mental image of what the picture looked like.

"Hmm..."

"You like it?"

"Yes."

"Hey, since we're all here, what if we make this a chatroom-like thing?"

"Um, ok then. But what do we call it?"

"I don't know."

"Great name choice."

And so it was called "I Don't Know".

Meanwhile, Ike and Snake were forced to find their lost stuff. Why Sakurai wouldn't simply teleport the things to them, nobody knew.

While the "chatroom" was open, Pit disconnected everyone. He controlled all their minds and sent them to the deep places where no mind should wander. There, the torture happens. The first one to be tortured was Ness.

"Please don't kill me!"

"I won't kill you."

"I'll tickle you till you join my army againts Dedede for not giving me my donuts!"

Everybody was forced to join Pit's army against Dedede, while he is cleaning his portable stand.

"I can't believe this started just because Ness looked at a picture of Captain Falcon." Lucario said, as he reconnected.

"Or the fact that he left his "broadcast to all psychics" setting on the whole day." Replied Mewtwo.

"You wanna stop the others or something?"

"How'd you know they're probably in trouble?"

"Oh please. Pit joined in, what'd you expect?"

Sakurai appeared. "I can help!" He then buffed everyone who was in the chatroom, including Pit. Now they can control each other's physical actions.

"How is that helpf- hey!" Yelled Dark Pit, as he was controlled by Pit.

"Haha! Quit hitting myself!"

"AAAAH!"

Meanwhile at the mansion...

Ness looked like he was having a seizure on the floor. Too bad nobody could help him aside from the pikmin, waddle dees and lumas. But even they didn't know what to do. They just started looking around seeing if anyone was there.

"AaAaAhH! hElP MEEEEEE!"

Nobody cared.

Suddenly, a voice boomed in the hallway.

"Hey, what's going o- HOLY ARCEUS" Screamed Little Tubby.

"Someone help him!" And he too started panicking, because even if he is a god, it somehow didn't work.

"O-okay then. Should we call for help or just walk away? Or..."

The pikmin and lumas started looking at each other, each starting to go out of the room.

"Well then...bye Ness."

Meanwhile, Dark Pit still continued hitting himself.

"Someone stop it!"

"What can we do? It's Ness doing this." Said Lucario.

"No, it isn't him. It's Pit."

"I'm confuzzled!"

The word meanwhile got repetetive so we're now using the word "During".

During Dark Pit's punch-a-thon, Dedede was selling a box of subtitled donuts.

"Enjoy!"

"Yay!"

Greenie: "Bury Mii alive!"

And so, everyone's subtitles got mixed up. Since nobody wanted to deal with the same problems all over again, they just decided to leave.

"Bye everyone!"

"Byeee!"

Shuaiolet: "E5!"

"Hold up!"

Danellow: "Smoke weed everyday!"

"Why's are subtitles mixed up?"

Quoivid: "I'm not a pervert."

Later...

All the smashers return home and discover the place is a mess.

"We're home!"

"HELP ME!" Screamed Ness.

Ness was still having a seizure, caused by the mind-controlling.

"We don't care." They said.


End file.
